After 50 years of marriage, I looked at my wife and said, “Fifty years ago, we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a tiny black-and-white TV — but I got to sleep next to a beautiful 23-year-old every night. Now we have a big house, a nice car, a comfortable bed, and a large TV — but I’m sleeping next to a 69-year-old woman. It seems like you’re not holding up your side of the deal.”

My wife, being a very reasonable woman, replied calmly, “Go out and find yourself a 23-year-old girl — and I’ll make sure you’re back in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a tiny black-and-white TV again.” Sometimes older women really know how to solve a man’s problems.

Later, the same couple went camping. They fell asleep under the stars, but in the middle of the night the wife woke her husband and said, “Look at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions of stars,” he replied.
“And what does that tell you?” she asked.

“Well,” he said thoughtfully, “with so many stars and planets, there must be life somewhere out there.”
She sighed and said, “No, dear — it means someone stole our tent.”